I just got back from one of those parental rites of passage, The College Orientation. Many, if not all colleges have their traditions and initiations, and this venerable institution is no different. Parents of incoming freshmen are advised that the tradition of shaking hands with the statue of this university’s 11th president will assure the academic success of your student. By the time the legions of parents of incoming freshman have completed their two-day orientation, the old guy’s right hand gets pretty shiny. After my firm, sincere handshake – and just to be on the safe side – I went the extra mile with a high-five, fist bump and a noogie. Honor roll, here we come!

Jim and the Colonel

You'll be seeing some Zits reruns in a few weeks which allow Jerry and me a couple of weeks of not-particularly-hard-earned vacation each summer. Jerry generally uses his having various body parts surgically reorganized, but I like to travel. This year my wife and I went with a group from the Cincinnati Zoo to Tanzania to see the wildebeest migration in the Serengeti.

Wildebeest shmildebeest, fast forward to our arrival home after 32 hours of airplanes to a quick nap and a seven-hour drive the next morning to take our youngest child off to college. Highlight of the trip – besides, of course, seeing our son happily ensconced in a nurturing college environment "nurturing college environment" [see wildebeest migration…] was breakfast in Corbin, Kentucky at the original Kentucky Fried Chicken

Yes, this was the spot where Harlan Sanders first set up a small motel and figured he needed to feed the people on their way to the Best Buy down the street. I've always had a soft spot in my otherwise-corroded heart for the Colonel and was pleased to express my devotion in the fabled redneck Mecca.